Salad Month

Everybody knows that January is salad month. Also diet supplement month, Weight Watcher coupon month, 24 Hour fitness free t-shirt with membership month, we ate ourselves into a stupor over the holidays and now its time to pay. This is normal life and when you properly observe salad month you can arrest the natural tendency toward weight gain each year. So what is the deal with the grocery stores? They have the nerve to put their Lean Cuisines on sale right next to the Ding Dongs which are also on sale. Its almost like a conspiracy. There was a meeting somewhere and the ad guys and the ceos got together and pointed out that if Ding Dong sales went down, so would diet pills and exercise equipment.
Now Ding Dongs go on sale in September when school starts because lazy parents put them in their kids lunches and...wait a minute, can this be coincidence. Sure the whole fat kid thing is part of the conspiracy, get 'em hooked early on the Ding Dongs and they'll be lifelong customers of the diet industry. If I had only bought stock in the Total Gym years ago I could now afford liposuction.