The thing about Cheetos

Cheetos are the alpha snack because they leave their mark on you. They mark their territory wherever they go. What other snack food does this? Nacho cheese flavored Doritos? Nope, doesn't happen, the Dorito flavor brushes off easily. Did you ever try brushing off the Cheetos dust, it spreads, it multiplies. You have to have water to get rid of the evidence. I think banks should use Cheetos in their money bags instead of dye packs. Its probably cheaper and you can catch the bad guys quicker, they'll be stopped at the first public restroom washing their hands.
Of course another way of looking at Cheetos is that it is the most honest snack. No sneaking those things. "Did you eat my Cheetos? Let me see your hands." MMhmm.